Okay, I know this is kind of random, but can we just pause for a moment and think about something real quick? I really, really love mythological creatures, have my entire life so far and will probably continue to ‘till the day I die. So, I was just daydreaming a while back, when I thought of something.
What if there was an AU in which Rome was a satyr and Germania was an elf?
Satyrs are creatures from Greek and Roman mythology that are half-goat half-human; they’re most well-known for drinking lots of wine, partying, and chasing nymphs. As for elves, they’re from mainly Germanic and northern European mythology, mischievous beings that tend to enjoy playing tricks on humans and other mythological creatures.
So, just imagine an AU in which satyr!Rome and elf!Germania are in an already-established relationship in modern times and live in a house together. By this point, Germania’s obviously going to be very, very good with magic and stuff like that, so, partially for convenience, partially because it’s fun to freak people out, Germania’s taken the liberty to set up magic portals all over the place that only he can see and access. With this, whenever he’s mad at Rome for one reason or another, probably the little shit confusing him for a nymph again, he simply jumps into one of his portals and *POOF!* No more elf man!
Of course, this tends to really annoy and confuse Rome, as only Germania knows where the hell any of these things lead, meaning Rome has to spend several hours running around, looking for the bae. And in the end, the entire time he’s been looking, Germania’s literally been sitting at the top of a really tall, really sturdy tree in the nearest park. That portal legitimately dropped him off on a tree branch nearby. I kid you not.
And so, as soon as Rome finds him, he’s obviously kind of simultaneously grouchy and distressed. Therefore, the two then begin arguing like an old married couple while one of them’s on top of a tree.
“C’mon, can’t you just come down from there so we can talk this out?!”
“No, I’m mad at you!”
“But Germmmaaaaannnniiiiiiiaaaaaa, I said I’m soooorrrrrrryyyyyy!”
“No! I’m not coming down and that’s final!”
“Oh, for the love of- You’re in a damn tree! Don’t you think this is getting out of hand?!”
This continues for a good while, the moms nearby covering their children’s ears while glaring daggers at the two; some people a little too far away to hear anything they’re saying think Rome’s talking to the tree. Eventually, someone decides enough’s enough and calls the cops on them.
That evening, Germany and the Italy brothers get a call from the police station saying that they have Rome at the station and are in the process of coaxing Germania out of the tree.
Okay, so it all started a couple months back when I was really super into Fandomstuck (still am, just not as much) & I read this Hetastuck one-shot thing on tumblr in which Hetalia introduced Homestuck to his younger brother, Doitsu. At first I was confused, but then I remembered that some Hetalians are really ridiculously into worshipping Germany or something like that, so I brushed it off.
However, today I found something else about Doitsu, don’t remember what, & decided to look that shit up.
Holy mother of cats did I not know just how deep this rabbit hole went.
There’s, as of now, a Doitsuism wiki, at least three tumblr blogs, and a series of Doitsuism pages parodying the bible. Like, this is WAY crazier & more hilarious than I initially thought!
So basically, I’ve spent at least two or so hours of my day just flipping through Doitsuism things & laughing hysterically at this hilarious section of the fandom, when I thought, “Hey, what if someone decided to make their own parody religion or something based on another character from Hetalia & them & the Doitsuists jokingly bickered or fought or something?”
Which made me automatically think of the hilarity that would most likely ensue if someone decided to make a Hetalia cult based around tomatoes, Romano, & Spain.
Like, seriously, this hypothetical Hetalia thing would probably say potatoes & Germans are bad or something along the lines of that, because Romano hates Germany’s interactions with Veneziano & makes a point of hating on potatoes.
Honestly, if this actually happened, I’d either be on the tomato side or sitting on a lawn chair in the background, eating popcorn and waiting for the inevitable shitstorm.
Guys, guys, I’m making this a thing. I’ve already set up the blog (it’s private & can’t be found in search results at the moment) & I’m making it happen.
I’ve done it. Through a lot of terrible editing, I’ve done it.
Okay, so it all started a couple months back when I was really super into Fandomstuck (still am, just not as much) & I read this Hetastuck one-shot thing on tumblr in which Hetalia introduced Homestuck to his younger brother, Doitsu. At first I was confused, but then I remembered that some Hetalians are really ridiculously into worshipping Germany or something like that, so I brushed it off.
However, today I found something else about Doitsu, don’t remember what, & decided to look that shit up.
Holy mother of cats did I not know just how deep this rabbit hole went.
There’s, as of now, a Doitsuism wiki, at least three tumblr blogs, and a series of Doitsuism pages parodying the bible. Like, this is WAY crazier & more hilarious than I initially thought!
So basically, I’ve spent at least two or so hours of my day just flipping through Doitsuism things & laughing hysterically at this hilarious section of the fandom, when I thought, “Hey, what if someone decided to make their own parody religion or something based on another character from Hetalia & them & the Doitsuists jokingly bickered or fought or something?”
Which made me automatically think of the hilarity that would most likely ensue if someone decided to make a Hetalia cult based around tomatoes, Romano, & Spain.
Like, seriously, this hypothetical Hetalia thing would probably say potatoes & Germans are bad or something along the lines of that, because Romano hates Germany’s interactions with Veneziano & makes a point of hating on potatoes.
Honestly, if this actually happened, I’d either be on the tomato side or sitting on a lawn chair in the background, eating popcorn and waiting for the inevitable shitstorm.
Guys, guys, I’m making this a thing. I’ve already set up the blog (it’s private & can’t be found in search results at the moment) & I’m making it happen.
Hey, guys! I started a Hetalia blog & would greatly appreciate it if someone would check it out, alright? It’s about the genetics of fictional characters! =D
Discount Deity of Death 