imaginegravityfalls:
Imagine Bill Cipher running for president
Allow me to expand upon this.
Imagine Bill casually wondering aloud what would happen if he DID run for president.
Imagine every Pines to ever exist ever simultaneously bursting out in hysterical laughter.
Imagine Bill huffing in offense, “What, you think I can’t do it?”
Imagine Dipper replying, still laughing, “No, no, it’s not that I think you can’t do it- *laughter* It’s- it’s just- *even more laughter*”
Imagine Bill shouting, “Oh my God, you think I can’t do it!” then storming out while the Pines continue to laugh.
Imagine Bill going out, declaring his candidacy, then somehow managing to get an insane amount of support.
Imagine Bill returning to the Pines, who have all moved on with their lives, and announcing, “Hey, guess who’s running for president!”
Imagine Ford greatly protesting this, as Bill’s, well, Bill, and could quite possibly run this place into the ground.
Imagine the rest of the Pines agreeing and pointing out that there’s more to a campaign than showing up, saying you’re in, and watching the support pile up; you need a campaign manager, a running mate, people in charge of propaganda and merchandise, etc..
Imagine Bill pausing a moment, then deciding on the spot that, from now on, Grunkle Stan’s in charge of his merchandise, Mabel’s in charge of propaganda, Great Uncle Ford’s his running mate for vice president, and Dipper’s his campaign manager.
Imagine Mabel and Stan being perfectly cool with it, Stan seeing an opportunity to make money, Mabel to glitterize everything in the house, and even Ford coming around to the idea, liking the sound of “Vice President Pines.”
Imagine Dipper being grumpy and totally not okay with anything that is happening anymore.
Imagine the whole thing somehow working out WELL for a while.
Imagine, at a press conference, Bill not knowing the answer to a question about his stance on policy issues and throwing Dipper in front of the cameras, saying, “Here, talk to my campaign manager!”
Imagine the reporters saying, “Wait, you’re a kid.”
Imagine Dipper getting huffy and saying, “What, you think I can’t do it?”
Imagine the reporters replying, “No, no, it’s not that we think you can’t do it. It’s- it’s just-“
Imagine Dipper shouting, “Oh my God, you think I can’t do it!” then storming off.
Imagine, later, Dipper returning to the Pines’ abode/Cipher 2016 HQ, approaching Bill, and saying, “Bill, I need to talk to you.”
Imagine Dipper leading him to a mirror, and telling him to look at it.
Imagine Dipper asking, “What do you see?”
Imagine Bill saying, “A demonic dorito hell-bent on global domination?”
Imagine Dipper saying, “That’s not what I see. Bill, when I look in this mirror, I see the next president of the United States of America.”
Imagine Dipper grumpily adding on, “And I’m going to prove all those stupid reporters wrong by managing the heck out of this campaign.”
Discount Deity of Death 