My students are up to something. They keep coming up to me and handing me pieces of fruit, and when I ask why, they just smile cryptically and say, “Don’t worry about it.”
Like, the apples I get. That’s a teacherly thing to give. But one of them just straight up handed me a grape.
I took a sick day today and sent an email to the first girl to hand me a piece of fruit, asking if I could have an explanation now.
Her response was to send me this meme:
That clarifies exactly nothing, thanks.
Walked into school today to an email from her saying: “There’s more to come, hope it doesn’t leave you *sour* (you’ll get that later).”
Ominous.
Just before my first class of the day, one of my students came floating in, a black cloak billowing behind her, hood pulled low over her eyes.
“An offering,” she said, handing me a plain white bag with a green ribbon.
Inside is this:
Life gave me a plastic lemon.
WE HAVE AN ANSWER!
Apparently this was the result of a number of my students playing Truth or Dare at a birthday party. I’m not sure which one of them came up with “I dare you to confuse Magistra by handing her a piece of fruit without explanation”, but I 100% approve of any thought process that ends with me getting free food.
Stephen Hillenburg was a marine biologist who created Spongebob as a part of a project to help educate kids on the ocean while working at the orange county marine institute. many of the characters in this educational comic went on to become a part of the series, including the future cartoon’s titular character, then known as Bob the Sponge.
this cartoon revolutionized the industry and in its initial boom was widely adored for its ability to be enjoyed by all ages and all demographics, creating an animated juggernaut for its generation akin to the simpsons or looney tunes, with people of all stripes able to remember its finest moments at the drop of a hat.
hillenburg began his official work on this groundbreaking program 15 years after graduating college. he left his career at the marine institute to study at CalArts. he didnt get his MFA until the early 90s. spongebob squarepants, now considered by many to be nickelodeon’s premier nicktoon, began airing the year he turned 38. his adventure as a professional truly shows the power of pursuing far-flung dreams, and that someone can do something huge long after their supposed “prime.”
this man changed animation, nickelodeon, and the childhoods of millions of people around the world forever in his unfortunately short life. i think it should be known just how much he managed to do in his time here, though, and his work and lofty ambition was something to be admired.
the above clip, featuring tiny tim’s “Living in the Sunlight,” is from the debut episode, “Help Wanted,” partially written by Hillenburg. It perfectly encapsulates the completely unorthodox and wildly entertaining tone that made this show so great.
It’s something that a lot of us hear – or dread hearing – when we’re starting off in university. “What are you going to do with a useless degree like that?” Some variation of this question will be said, whether it’s by a friend, a family member, or even a perfect stranger who decided that they knew better about your future than you do.
Here’s the thing about academia – all degrees have value, but the amount it’s worth is always going to be up to you. Did you go into your university career with a different major than you have now? I did. This degree was less lucrative, less “useful” than my previous major would have been. But I excelled in the classes, and I enjoyed them, which was not what I was doing in my previous program.
The experience you have while you’re studying at the undergraduate, or even graduate, level does not just have to extend to coursework, but to other things as well. Did you make new friends? Did you uncover an interest you might have not otherwise known about had you not taken that class? Did you overcome a fear? Did you read more books than you ever thought possible? Did you learn something new about yourself? Did you have fun? Did you laugh? Do you have a professor who will stand out in your mind forever because of their literal catchphrase? (Mine was a Medieval professor who started every first day of class with: “There is no use of the F-word in my class! You can fuck all you want, but noooooooooooo feudalism!” – I had him for three different Medieval courses and looked forward to the reactions every single time.)
Your program is there to help you learn and become a better scholar, but it is also to help you grow as a person. To me, there is no such thing as a useless degree – I get more out of my degrees than most people would expect. Do I need to indicate that I have a Creative Writing degree on my CV for my museum work? No, but I claimed it as a double major because I wanted to do it for my own enrichment, my own enjoyment, and if you’re doing something that makes you feel good, then it’s not useless.
If you have fun, your degree is worthwhile.
If you’ve made friends, your degree is worthwhile.
If you have memories you’ll never forget, your degree is worthwhile.
If you learned anything during your program, your degree is worthwhile.
If you found yourself during your program, your degree is worthwhile.
Remember, there is no such thing as a “useless” degree. If you’re enjoying it, if you love it, and you’re studying it because you want to, that’s more than enough for your degree to be worthwhile. Let no one stop you from doing what you love.
this has happened to me more times than i can count — i’ve found out when they ejaculate on me (a lot of times on my face without asking) that they took the condom off somewhere in the middle of sex. recently, a man i regularly hooked up with told me he “couldn’t come with a condom on” and i asked how he did it when we had sex before and he laughed and said, “i took it off less than half way through.”
this is something men don’t take seriously, but women are forced to — we’re the ones who have to get the plan b, who have to go get tested, who have to stress about what will happen next. men minds turn off the second after they orgasm.
it is absolutely non-consensual to take a condom off without the sex partner knowing.
Men seem to have no idea how fucking cruel this is, those weeks we spend afterward, panicking over whether we might be pregnant and what we’re going to do about it if we are and what if we caught something? Nah, they probably do have a sense of it; they just don’t fucking care, or they get off on the idea of putting a woman in distress weeks or more after the sexual act has ended.
You are scum if you fucking do this, condone this. End of discussion.
They don’t do it only to us, women. My sister is a doctor and gay men have gone to her consults asking for exams and some have actually shared how their latest hookup removed the condomn without their knowledge and so they were scared to have an STD. Anyone that does this to anyone deserves no respect.
Y’all know free condoms is a result of gay activists who worked towards safer sex practices after the AIDS crisis right? Because if not it’s one google search away
Breakfast and lunch should be free for all students in all public schools.
There is no counterpoint I am willing to entertain against this.
Not a counterpoint, but the food should also be edible and healthy. No pears and apples that are 90% mush, no bananas that have more brown than yellow, no undercooked meat, no wood chips in the fucking food, no moldy fruit, no brown lettuce, no meat that’s been left out too long.
Also, full meals. Not just three French toast sticks and a hash brown. Not two mozzarella sticks and some French fries. A full meal with fruit, protein, vegetables, grains, and dairy, depending on a persons allergies or other dietary factors.
These also aren’t just hypotheticals, btw, these are all things I’ve seen in public school cafeterias since starting school in kindergarten.
As someone who works in a high school cafeteria, I want to second all of this
please, contact your local officials, city and state, and demand they provide funding for proper supplies, equipment, and training
Yeah it’s cool to pretend you hate this site despite logging in via oxygen mask every day like a coward but I’m gonna miss this site when it tanks. Never have I interacted with a piece of media that is this entertaining and outrageous. It’s historical.
Tumblr’s polarity is truly only outmatched by Twitter to me. There are amazing and creative people here and then there are demons and scoundrels and the insane amount of micro-societies created by both would make any sociologist have a field day. You are always two degrees of separation away from mind-blowing confusion if you click any link on your dashboard. The constant stimulation…is terrifying.
Discount Deity of Death 